“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:7-8).

God planted within each one of us the need to love and be loved. It is one of the ways He made us in His image. Through a relationship with our Heavenly Father, we experience His deep and abiding love. And He designed us to both receive that wondrous affection and share it with those in our lives.

Scripture provides many examples of how we can express devotion to each other. One Christian writer found four words in particular, from ancient Greek, that capture the essence of several types of love we are capable of showing. They vary in degree of intimacy and intensity, but all are meant to encourage and edify.

What Are the Four Loves?

The phrase The Four Loves came from the title of a 1960 book penned by C.S. Lewis. Based on a set of radio talks he’d done two years earlier, the book presents and then explores the notion that humans are able to feel different kinds of love, depending on the situations and relationships involved.

He used translations from ancient Greek, because he knew that language had a large range of words to define what love can mean. The four he chose were:

• Storge
• Phileo
• Eros
• Agape

Lewis makes the point that all of them can, and often do, intertwine. And, he adds that they are displayed to others at their deepest and most meaningful level when they grow out of a love for God first.

1. Storge Love “Familial Affection”

This is the type of care that exists between family members, friends, or companions. Longer-lasting, it goes beyond an initial infatuation or attraction. Built on a familiarity between people, the emphasis of storge is on devotion and intimacy that develops over time.

Real-life examples include parents toward children, siblings, spouses, and sometimes very close friendships. One of the 10 commandments shows what storge love can look like:

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).

The Apostle Paul reminded spouses of God’s order to seek and show it as well.

“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’” (Ephesians 5:25).

Phileo Love “Friendship”

Phileo most often describes a relationship between people, one of generous warmth for another. But in a broader sense, it can also apply to churches and even cities. The basis of this common bond is shared beliefs, values or interests.

An image that comes to mind as an example of this is good friends who look out for each other. But many churches and towns have what they call “sister” congregations or cities.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10).

“Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters” (Hebrews 13:1).

Eros Love “Passion”

This kind of affection is meant to describe a healthy, sensual love between husbands and wives. Romance and physical attraction play a part in it. God gave us this kind of desire with the clear instruction to express it only within the bonds of marriage.

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…” (Song of Solomon 6:3).

Scripture clearly tells us that He cares about what we do with our bodies. Believers are cautioned to avoid showing Eros love to anyone but our spouse, so that the choices we make honor God.

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

Agape Love “Charity”

Agape love is probably the most talked about of the four kinds of love. It is the highest, most complete form of affection. God’s love for us is the foundation of this love. And Jesus gave us many lessons about and examples of agape - a strong, selfless and sacrificial love - during His earthly ministry.

The early church actually used the term to describe two separate activities they practiced. One was a sacred rite with bread and wine, similar to the Eucharist today. The other was a regular fellowship meal they held, to which the local poor were invited.

Jesus reminded His disciples over and over again that we are called to show this agape to God and to other people, whether they are friends or enemies.

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:37-39).

“‘You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven’” (Matthew 5:43-46).

Are the Four Love Types Biblical?

The Four Love terms that C.S. Lewis explored are not named specifically as such in Scripture. But all through God’s Word we can find people who demonstrated each of them.

Storge

- Noah and his family (Genesis 6-9)
- The siblings Mary, Martha and Lazarus of Bethany (Luke 10; John 11)

Phileo

- David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18)
- Paul and Timothy (Acts 16:1-3; Acts 17:14-15)

Eros

- Part of a father’s instruction to his son (Proverbs 5:18-20)
- The King and his bride (Song of Solomon)

Agape

- Between God and us (John 3:16; Romans 8:38-39)
- Between us and the Lord (John 13:34-35)
- Between us and others (1 John 3:16)

In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis explores the nature of love. He starts with the Biblical truth that God is love, and sets out to see how our lives can reflect the different aspects of that. In his book, Lewis wrote: “Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our natural lives.”

He also talks of a maturing process we will ideally go through. First, we make the choice to show love, especially storge and phileo, to others. As we do, our hearts will align more closely with God’s.

As we become more giving in our spirits over time, more of the selfless agape love will naturally pour out of us. And that will lead to blessings for others, and for us. It is a wonderful cycle that can change the world for the better.

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man” (Proverbs 3:3-4).

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
 

“‘If you love me, keep my commands’” (John 14:15).

Most Christians are familiar with the Old Testament account of Moses coming down Mount Sinai carrying two stone tablets. On them were 10 rules for the young nation of Israel. God Himself engraved this covenant between Him and his people.

But the Lord did far more than just issue a set of rules. Through them, He was showing what a life of faith should look like. It presented a very high standard. But, it also offered the way to a more peaceful, joyful and worshipful life.

Where Do We Find the Story of the 10 Commandments?

The account of Moses receiving the commandments can be found in Exodus 19. Three months after leaving Egypt, the Israelites were camped in the Sinai desert. God spoke to Moses from the mountain, giving him a message for the people:

“‘You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself. Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession.’”

The Lord then instructed Moses to meet Him on the mountain, but to make sure none of the people or animals came near the foot of the mount. When Moses arrived, God dictated these commandments to be delivered to the nation. Exodus 20:2-17 and Deuteronomy 5:1-22 contain the full list of Laws.

What Are Each of the 10 Commandments?

Simple and direct, this list from God has had the power to equip believers throughout the ages to live well. The Laws are echoed throughout Scripture, and woven into the truths of the Old Testament, and the teachings of the New Testament.

1. “You shall have no other gods before me.” (v. 3)

“...yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live” (1 Corinthians 8:6).

2. “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God…” (v. 4-5)

“Dear children, keep yourselves from idols” (1 John 5:21).

3. “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” (v. 7)

“All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God’s name and our teaching may not be slandered” (1 Timothy 6:1).

4. “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God.” (v. 8-10)

“Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded” (James 4:8).

5. “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (v. 12)

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ —which is the first commandment…” (Ephesians 6:1-2).

6. “You shall not murder.” (v.13)

“If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler” (1 Peter 4:15).

7. “You shall not commit adultery.” (v. 14)

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4).

8. “You shall not steal.” (v. 15)

“Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need” (Ephesians 4:28).

9. “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” (v. 16)

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body” (Ephesians 4:25).

10. “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” (v. 17)

“...but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15).

Is There Any Significance to the Order of the Commandments?

The commandments are not named in order of importance. All the commandments are God-given and vital to our spiritual health. Ideally, they should all be part of our moral code. But it’s interesting to note that the Laws seem to fall into loose categories.

Commandments 1 through 4 tell us to hold God above all others as the only One worthy of our worship and reverence. The 5th through 8th commandments address some basic personal values and behavior choices. Finally, commandments 9 and 10 deal with our treatment of neighbors and friends.

Another note about this list of commandments is that all but two are presented in the negative - “You shall not…” But Laws 4 and 5, tucked right in the middle, give us positive directions - “remember” and “honor.”

Why Are There 10 Commandments?

In Scripture, the number 10 appears several times throughout the Old Testament. It’s been said to be used in a literary way to represent completion, order and wholeness.

The number of Laws corresponds with the number of plagues in Egypt (Exodus 7-12), as well as the generations between Adam - the beginning of mankind - and Noah, who survived God’s destruction of mankind. The phrase “God said,” is also found 10 times in the Creation account of Genesis 1.

Why Did God Give the Israelites the 10 Commandments?

As the Israelites made their 40-year journey to the Promised Land, God’s plan was to train them in His Ways and to establish a deeper relationship with them. He often reminded them of how they had already seen His goodness in their lives.

“And God spoke all these words: ‘I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery’” (Exodus 20:1-2).

The Lord then gave this list of rules as a basis for living righteous lives. His goal reached beyond just blind obedience, though. The commandments were meant to be a loving gift to the people He called His own by: 

• Establishing Him as their Heavenly King, who would rule justly
• Showing them their need of Him, and His faithfulness to them
• Protecting them from mistakes that would bring them harm
• Setting them apart as His, to stand out in a corrupt and sinful world

The Lord wanted to give them guidelines to follow as they entered and conquered the land. God knew how easily men’s hearts can be turned away from Him, and offered the commandments as clear boundaries for those who loved Him.

Do We Still Have to Follow These Commandments Today?

There has been debate as to whether we are still called to obey all 10 commandments in our time. Some argue that we are only obligated to follow the ones that Jesus specifically mentions in the Gospels.

But our Lord Himself said differently as He started His earthly ministry. Jesus wanted people to understand that God, and His standard for us, had not and would never change.

“‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven’” (Matthew 5:17-19).

On several occasions, Jesus used the commandments as a foundation for teaching about righteousness. In these lessons, the Lord asked His disciples to keep each law in their hearts, making them part of a life that honors God and shares His love with others.

“‘You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment” (Matthew 5:21-22).

“‘You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart’” (Matthew 5:27-28).

“A certain ruler asked him, ‘Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?’ ‘Why do you call me good?’ Jesus answered. ‘No one is good — except God alone. You know the commandments: You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’ ‘All these I have kept since I was a boy,’ he said. When Jesus heard this, he said to him, ‘You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me’” (Luke 18:18-22).

The teachings of the New Testament were clearly based on the truths in the original commandments, giving practical ways to apply them. The Apostle Paul told of his own transformation when he understood the purpose of them.

“What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet … So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good” (Romans 7:7,12).

Since the moment God handed down the 10 Commandments, people from all eras have seen the need for, and blessings of, following them. We would be wise to join them.

“‘Keep my commands and follow them. I am the Lord’” (Leviticus 22:31).

“Exhort your household to learn [the Ten Commandments] word for word, that they should obey God…For if you teach and urge your families, things will go forward” - Martin Luther.

“We have staked the whole future of our new nation, not upon the power of government; far from it. We have staked the future of all our political constitutions upon the capacity of each of ourselves to govern ourselves according to the moral principles of the Ten Commandments” - James Madison

“If God would have wanted us to live in a permissive society He would have given us Ten Suggestions and not Ten Commandments” - Zig Ziglar

One of the greatest privileges parents have is to pray for their children. There are many kinds of prayers parents can pray, and at different stages of their child’s life. Looking down in a cradle at a sweet daughter delights a parent’s heart, and God has plans for that little one too.

Here are eight prayers a parent might pray for daughters.
 
1. A Prayer for My Unborn Daughter

Dear God,

Thank you for this baby girl — not yet born, but known and wonderfully designed by You. In Your divine providence, You already have plans for this little girl. I pray You will put a hedge of protection around her in the womb. 

I pray for the special day You have ordained for her to be born. I ask you to ease concerns or anxieties in her mother about going through childbirth. Bring peace and strength to her heart. I pray the birth process will be smooth.

Your Word tells me that every offspring is a heritage and reward from You. Thank you for this new little person in my womb. I am excited and eager to meet this little girl, God.

Amen.

Scriptures to pray over your unborn daughter
Psalm 139:13-16; Ephesians 2:10; Jeremiah 1:5; Philippians 4:6-7; Isaiah 26:3; Isaiah 41:10

2. A Prayer for My Infant Daughter

Lord,

Thank you for this miracle. As I count every finger and toe, and stroke my baby girl’s forehead, I am overwhelmed with love, but also a great sense of responsibility. Because of her, my life and future are altered — and already, I can’t imagine life without her. She is pure innocence and potential, and I wonder if she will be like Deborah, Ruth, Esther, or Mary in the Bible.

I ask You to help her body develop according to Your plans. I pray for health, protection, and even peaceful sleep. Thank you for this incredible, precious gift, Lord. She makes me smile, and I pray that you will strengthen and bless her from head to toe!

I pray You will bring support to help me in times of need as I care for her. I want to make wise choices to cooperate with You in protecting my little girl now, and as I make biblical plans to guide her as she grows. I want to be sensitive to Your leading, Lord, and vigilant to obey you as her parent. I want to give this sweet baby the best possible life and training. Help me remember I can do nothing apart from You. I am glad my daughter and her future are in Your hands.

Amen.

Scriptures to pray over your infant daughter
Psalm 127:3; 1 Samuel 1:27
 
3. A Prayer for My Growing Daughter

Father God,

Teach me how to parent my young daughter according to Your Word and the way that you have designed her. Give me compassion and understanding toward her when she makes childish mistakes; and help me discipline her in love when dealing with sinful attitudes and actions. I pray You will give a teachable spirit, and that she will mature in every way — body, soul, and spirit — blessed by both You and those who observe her life.

I pray my daughter will not only grow to know about You, Father, but also believe in You and learn at an early age how to follow, listen to, and obey You immediately, completely, and with right attitudes. Give her a heart hungry for truth and wisdom. I pray Your Word will transform her life as she grows, and that You will bless her.

Show my daughter how to deal with temptations and peer pressure quickly and with good judgment and wisdom. Help me teach her how to guard her thoughts and emotions. I pray that when my daughter gets caught doing wrong, she will repent quickly; and when she does what is right, help me notice and praise what is good and valuable in her words and actions. Help me demonstrate how to love and serve others.

I ask You to give my daughter encouraging, healthy friendships. As she begins to sense her purpose in his world, show me how I can help her develop skills to make worthy contributions in life and ministry. Show my daughter how to honor You in all things. And, Father, if You want her to be married someday, I pray You will guide her in that process. I pray her husband will be both strong and tender — a godly man of purity and noble character, specially prepared for her. 

Amen.

Scriptures to pray over your growing daughter
Ephesians 6:4; Psalm 103:13; Hebrews 12:11; Luke 2:52; Psalm 119:11; 2 Peter 3:18; Matthew 7:11; 1 Corinthians 1:30; Psalm 91:1-2; Proverbs 4:23; Proverbs 10:9; 1 Corinthians 10:13; Proverbs 13:20; Proverbs 31:10-31
 
4. A Prayer for My Daughter Setting Out on Her Own (College or Career)

Lord Jesus,

You have watched over my daughter for so many years, and now she is striking out on her own. But she will never be alone. Your presence will continue throughout her life. I pray for so many things as she leaves home on these new adventures. Give her wisdom and discernment for new choices she will make, and help her listen to wise counsel. Grant her courage to stand firm for righteousness and be an example of godliness to others.

I pray my daughter will not become lazy or discontent in every work you design for her to do. No matter where she goes or what she does, I pray You will continue to give her opportunities to develop skills and talents. Make her a woman of vision and high purpose, Lord, and help her lead and serve others with compassion, grace, and humility. I pray that the roles You call her to in these years will bring her joy and fulfillment.

There are many temptations available, but I pray my daughter’s reputation will be one that honors You, Jesus. I pray she will make prudent choices and display good character and integrity. I pray she will be honest and truthful. I pray she will practice self-control, especially in dealing with her emotions. Help her seek peace and be quick to forgive so no bitterness takes root in her heart. I pray that my daughter will be faithful to Your calling on her life, that she will bring You glory, and that You will establish the work of her hands.

Amen.

Scriptures to pray over your daughter as she leaves home
James 1:5; Proverbs 3:5-6; Proverbs 4:20-22; Proverbs 8:32-33; Psalm 1:1-2; 1 Corinthians 16:13-14; Colossians 3:17; Matthew 20:27-28; 1 Peter 5:6; Proverbs 22:1; Ecclesiastes 7:1; Proverbs 10:9; Ephesians 3:16; 1 Peter 3:10-12; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Hebrews 12:15; Psalm 90:17; Colossians 1:10-11)